Stick to guns on drinking

My boyfriend just started college and began drinking a lot. Now he's mad at me because I refuse to ride with him until he promises he won't drink. I don't want to seem like an overbearing girlfriend, but I also don't want anything to happen to him. It's really scaring me. What should I do? — Amy, 18, Lexington, Ky.

High-five to you for standing up for yourself! (And P.S.: You're not being overbearing — you're being smart.) Your guy is just trying to make you feel bad because he doesn't want to admit his problem. My boyfriend in college had the same issue, and whenever I'd drive with him, I was terrified. The second I'd look away from him, he'd fall asleep at the wheel. I'm so ashamed of myself for putting up with his behavior; innocent people could have been killed because of his (and, in turn, my) bad judgment.

So please do what I was too chicken to do back then: Have a serious conversation with your boyfriend while he's sober. Tell him that you don't want anything bad to happen to him, to you or to some innocent bystander. Even if he believes he's an OK driver when he's drunk (there is no such thing, by the way — but it's a common excuse drinkers use, so I don't want your important message to be sidelined because of it), he will be less reflexive if another driver on the road makes a bad move. That impairment can result in disastrous consequences, so focus on those. Like, if he gets behind the wheel drunk and winds up in an accident, it will affect not only his life and the other person's, but also everyone's friends and families. I'm sure you can find lots of scary news stories online to show him the different ways his behavior can have tragic results. Ask him if he really wants to do that to you or to his family. Tell him you're sticking to your guns because you love him too much to let him risk throwing his life away. But also let him know that you won't accept his behavior. If this conversation has no impact on him, you need to move on. If he doesn't care about your feelings or keeping you safe, you need to get out of this potentially dangerous situation to protect at least yourself.

I turned vegan after watching PETA's video "Meet Your Meat." I showed it to my college friends, hoping it would impact them. They were affected by it and called the system of killing animals for meat awful and immoral, yet they didn't change their diets. I confronted them, and they began acting uncomfortable around me. Do I have to choose between my morals and my friends? — Amanda, 19, Lancaster, Pa.