Norm Chow at Rice-Eccles? Dream on, buddy

Chuck: Today's subject of "Rumor Mongers" is a much-traveled football offensive guru whose career resume includes mentoring three Heisman Trophy winners, a member of the Pro Football Hall of Fame and three current starting NFL quarterbacks.

Time to jump on the rumor mill and play: How Now Norm Chow? — 2006 Edition.

Amy: In the not-so-wide world of sports, it's called analysis. In the rest of the world it's called speculation.

Men make fun of women who speculate about when Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes might actually tie the knot, but then they participate in a very similar pastime involving players and coaches. One day Joe Torre is all but fired as Yankees manager (and Lou Pinella is moving into the dugout), and before the sun sets, he's once again "The Man."

Why waste time how now-ing when there's plenty of reality to dissect and criticize?

Chuck:. You do talk radio. Rumor and sports are symbiotic. Here one minute. Gone like Speedy Claxton the next.

Amy: To me, it's like running on the treadmill — a lot of work to go nowhere.

Chuck: Must you describe our column that way?

At 2-5 and with their next five games against teams with a combined 25-11 record, the NFL's Tennessee Titans are going nowhere, too. General manager Floyd Reese could show head coach Jeff Fisher and his staff the stadium exit ramp anytime.

As Tennessee's offensive coordinator, Chow faces double jeopardy now that first-round pick Vince Young has been hustled into early production. Even if Fisher survives, Chow and his RUMORED million-dollar salary could take the fall if development of the rookie franchise quarterback lags.

Amy: If Chow loses his job, it will only prove owners really are clueless. I would love to know how much money college and pro teams pay to coaches in severance pay and contract buyouts. Maybe success isn't as one-dimensional as owners and fans seem to think it is. Maybe a number of things have to come together for a coach to take a team to those dizzying heights. Tennessee has a lot more to worry about than why Norm Chow can't spin straw into gold.

Chuck: Just because, as a rule, professional sports owners are successful self-made men doesn't inoculate them from outbreaks of the clueless virus.