Our attitudes are everything! Yes, I know that you don't believe me, but what we think about we bring about!

When we whine and say no one ever helps around here, then that is just what you are asking for and guess what, you will get it!

When we feel pitiful, with that "don't care" or "I can't" attitude, then we reflect that in our appearance.

Now here is the big one! When we act poor we will be poor! It is a "poor me" attitude that makes us save things and hoard stuff.

There is another attitude that hits us all hard. You can make yourself sick with your attitude. The mind is a strange machine! If you think it so, your wish will be granted. Whether you are actually sick or not! The good part about this is that we can refuse to be sick and it will help us get better too!

What about the anorexic woman who weighs 85 pounds? When she sees herself in the mirror, she sees fat. Then there are the people who will never have a clean home because one thing out of place means the whole house is dirty. There are those of us who think we don't have time to clean like our mothers did so we do nothing!

How about the "I don't have enough time" attitude? You won't if you don't stop thinking this way!

Then there is the "I'm so stupid" attitude; you are not, but you say this to yourself more times than I want to know about.

Our attitudes are everything. We make ourselves sick! The guilt, stress, self-defeating attitudes, negativity and anger help create illness and discomfort in our lives.

I know we are all going to die one day. Death is part of living! But why can't we live our lives to the fullest by letting go of this stress, guilt, anger, perfectionism, martyrdom and those other negative behaviors? We deserve to be happy, and when you get rid of this negativity, guess what is left: joy and contentment.

We all know how to clean, we just don't know when to get up and move! That is what I do; motivate you to get off your fanny and do something. I fill your head with an attitude-adjusting essay so you will see how your negative attitudes are keeping you from FLYing! If I can do this one thing, your home will come together and before you know it you will be loving yourself more than you ever thought possible. You never knew a lack of love caused all this chaos. You just thought you were lazy! You are not!

When you hear those self-deprecating words come out of your mouth and in your head; stop right then and there and turn them into positive affirmations. First, delete the ugly words. Say "Delete, I didn't mean that, I take that back. I refuse to let you beat me up!" Then say the positive phrase seven times out loud! "I can do, I am strong!"

It took me a long time to really start believing myself when I said, "I love myself!" Slowly it will start to become part of you if you continue to say the words. What we think about we bring about! It takes time. I'd say about nine months of giving birth to a new you! It is just like with your routines; they didn't happen overnight! Slowly, with one baby step at a time you begin replacing ineffective habits with new efficient ways of living and loving!

It all starts with knowing what we are doing to ourselves. When we know we can change!

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For more help getting rid of your CHAOS; check out: www.flylady.net. Also see Cilley's book, "Sink Reflections" and her new book, "Body Clutter." Copyright 2006 Marla Cilley Used by permission in this publication.