From Deseret News archives:

Some parents relish challenge of rearing a big family

They include growing number who live in the affluent suburbs

Published: Sunday, Oct. 22, 2006 10:00 p.m. MDT
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"The population explosion — fears about that are over," he said. "People used to think that having more than two kids was not only expensive but immoral. Now, people say if you can afford three kids, four kids, that's great."

Yet Morgan, who has three children of his own, doubts there will be a boom in extra-large families.

"No matter how much money the parents have, most think each of their kids should have their own place and time," he said. "More than four — that's when people start thinking you're crazy, that you're shortchanging the ones you already have."

Bonny Clark, a mother of five from the Minneapolis suburb of Circle Pines, has encountered such skepticism. When pregnant with twins four year ago — with three other children already on hand — even some of her friends were dismayed.

"There were a lot of unwelcome comments, like, 'If I had three kids and was having twins, I'd kill myself,"' Clark said.

Clark, 38, is aware of the buzz that large families — in the suburbs, at least — are a new status symbol.

"I thought it was kind of funny," she said "Most people who have a lot of kids don't have the time or energy to care what about others think."

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On top of other family duties, Clark has an extra, self-imposed workload — home-schooling all five children ranging from the twins to an adolescent daughter.

"One of the biggest struggles for me," she said, "is that 4-year-olds' interests aren't the same as a 13-year-old's interests."

Her husband, who runs the mail center at a local college and does landscaping, has limited spare time, and the family constantly improvises to make do financially.

Carmen and Frank Staicer of Virginia Beach, Va., have an even bigger brood — six children aged 2 through 14. The two youngest — including 2-year-old Riley, who is autistic — are at home with Carmen during the day; the others go to local Roman Catholic schools.

Carmen embraces the challenges of raising so large a family but doesn't minimize them.

"There are many nights I go to bed mentally exhausted, after trying to deal with high school bullies and first-grade spelling words," she said. "But I can't think of anything that I'd rather do than be dealing with these incredibly funny, wonderful individuals."

Even with her husband's income as a car dealership finance manager, Staicer says budget-balancing can require buying secondhand sports gear and controlling food bills with coupons and leftovers. Each weekday afternoon, she switches into chauffeur mode, driving her children to after-school activities.

"I don't want them to grow up thinking that because we had all these kids, they couldn't do anything," she said.

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Gary C. Knapp, Associated Press

Carmen Staicer, center, the mother of two boys and four girls, eats dinner with her children, from left, Riley, Emma, Allegra, Gabriel, Nikolas and Mackenzie, at their home in Virginia Beach, Va.

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