Remembering: Witnesses

Several Utahns were in New York City near the World Trade Center and another at the Pentagon when the hijacked planes struck Sept. 11, 2001.

Each of them found their way out of the terrorized cities without physical injury. But their hearts and minds remain wounded, some more than others. Their memories are vivid, their feelings tender.

Here they reflect on their lives five years later:

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It was with trepidation that Jan Crispin-Little went to Boston this weekend to attend the same conference she did five years ago in New York City.

Since two hijacked jets slammed into the World Trade Center, the National Association of Business Economists has avoided Sept. 11, until this year.

The psychological effects of being caught up in the worst act of terrorism in American history linger for Crispin-Little. She remembers every detail of the day she found herself alone on the streets of a wounded city with nothing but the clothes on her back.

"I think sometimes I still have reactions," she said. "I still can't look at pictures of the buildings on fire. It's too gut-wrenching."

Crispin-Little boarded the plane to Boston not necessarily suspicious or fearful but more aware. She pays closer attention to what others around her are doing. She stereotypes Middle Eastern men.

"I wish I didn't feel that way," she said.

Her hotel room is not above the fifth floor. She scans the lobby and conference room for exits. She studies the building layout on the inside of her door.

Crispin-Little won't be watching the five-year anniversary reports on TV "because I can replay everything in my mind. There's no reason to watch it anywhere else."

Another more recent tragedy has also reshaped her perspective on 9/11. Her husband of 26 years died of cancer in July.

"If something happens, it just happens. You can't live your life waiting for negative things to happen," Crispin-Little said. "I'm going to live my life, and what happens happens, and I deal with the consequences of everyday life."

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The gift Joyce Jensen opened on Christmas morning 2003 made her mad: two airline tickets to New York City.