OUT OF HIS HANDS: Pro golfer Jesper Parnevik was in Manhattan for a photo shoot on Sept. 11, 2001. It would be several months before he got his next good night's sleep.

He remembers sitting in the hotel that morning, debating with friends about how a plane could miscalculate so badly as to hit the World Trade Center. Then came news of the second plane, and "it was a different atmosphere."

His lasting memory from the attacks?

"Paranoia. The fear of not knowing which street to take. That stuck with me for months afterward," he said. "It was a real helpless feeling. Like there was nothing you could do. I don't like that situation. As a professional golfer, you always want to be in control of what you're doing, and that was the complete opposite."

His job puts him on airplanes routinely, and back to New York every once in a while. A native of Sweden, he moved to the United States and embraced it — for the lifestyle he could live, for the living he could make ... for better and for worse.

He hasn't been to Ground Zero, from where he saw the smoke enveloping the city as he ran north on Sept. 11, toward Central Park, wondering if another tall building around him would be the next target.

Like many Americans, he tries to block Sept. 11 from his mind. He doesn't watch the documentaries, movies or other reflections about that day.

"I don't want to see any of that," he said. "You don't want to relive the feeling of that again."

· · · · ·

LOSING A FRIEND: He played for the Minnesota Twins when the attacks jarred the nation. Really, though, pitcher Eric Milton was playing for someone else.

"We took time off, and then we came back to play," said Milton, now with the Cincinnati Reds. "I think for the rest of the season, we were playing for 9-11."

Milton's case was a bit different because he also was playing for close high school friend, Jonas Panik, who was killed when one of the planes crashed into the Pentagon.

After the six-day layoff following the attacks, Milton returned to the field with the initials "JP" written on the side of his cap next to an American flag.

Five years later, he says the memories of that day — and the loss of his friend — still resonate.

"Everybody's been affected," he said. "You have to just cherish what you have."

It has long been feared that stadiums and arenas, where thousands of Americans gather each night to watch their favorite teams and sports, could be a prime target for terrorists.

Because of that, it's now a little bit harder to get into a stadium. Security checks are more commonplace. Big bags aren't.

It's a small reminder the world is different — even though so much of the sports world seems the same.

A stadium "would be an obvious target. It's always a thought," Milton said. "It's always going to be in the back of your mind. It's something you'll never forget."

---

AP sports writer John Nicholson in Ancaster, Ontario, AP writer Terry Kinney in Cincinnati and AP freelance writer Ken Powtak in Boston contributed to this report.