From Deseret News archives:
What politicians are saying, and what they mean
As a public service to readers, we hereby provide the 2006 installment of what politicos are saying and what they really mean:
"After careful analysis, I have determined that Gov. Huntsman's dual option tax proposal holds tremendous benefit to the state." (The Guv wined and dined me at the governor's mansion, stroked my ego, asked how the kids are doing, and told me I was important.)
"I remain unpersuaded that Gov. Huntsman's dual option tax proposal is proper reform." (I want another lunch at the Governor's Mansion and more stroking.)
"I wanted to retire from public life, but because so many constituents begged me to stay, I am willing to make the sacrifice and run again." (I really enjoy the perks of the office, and I need the insurance.)
"I will never raise taxes!" (But I never said anything about revenue enhancements, income bracketing and fee adjustments.)
"I am steadfast in my defense of family values and the Constitution." (I don't want to discuss any of the hard issues.)
"I am here at your doorstep to listen to your concerns firsthand." (You don't want me bothering you, and I certainly don't want to be here, so let's make this painless: Take the brochure and don't ask any questions.)
"I am not beholden to special interest groups!" (Taking their money, free lunches, Jazz tickets and golf games isn't "beholden.")
"The pressing demands of elected office limit my participation in debates." (I'm ahead, so why give my opponent a forum?)
"I don't care how you vote, as long as you vote." (Please be impressed with my statesman-like posturing, no matter how insincere.)
"I'm looking forward to an invigorating campaign!" (I have to face another election!? Can't they just give it to me this time?)
"As a member of the minority party, I'm committed to diversity and political balance." (I can't get any bills passed, so what else can I say?)
Comments
- Bluffdale police issue to be decided 12:46 p.m.
- Atom smasher catches 1st collisions 12:25 p.m.
- 5 Americans detained in Pakistan 12:18 p.m.
- Man defends self with scraper 12:11 p.m.
- Panel passes BCS playoff bill 12:08 p.m.
- Stocks turn mixed 12:06 p.m.
- Palin tickets still available 11:33 a.m.
- BYU devotional: 'God loves you' 11:24 a.m.
- LDS engineer, 48-core chip 11:24 a.m.
- Witness defends report on Mitchell 11:15 a.m.
- Snow brings big chill
- Hot Rod behind mic for Lakers
- Expert calls Mitchell delusional
- Cougars use depth to beat ASU
- Non-BCS schools not given fair shot
- Andersen apologizes for Jordan hoax
- Max Hall wants to look ahead
- Five players miss Jazz practice
- Yet again, we learn BCS is a big joke
- Ranking the bowl games
- Y. profs: Beck not all-knowing
283 - Letters: Global warming a lie
221 - TCU to play Boise in Fiesta Bowl
206 - BYU football: Bronco weighs in on Hall
174 - Cougars going back to Vegas
150 - Utah/BYU rivalry can be more civil
144 - Andersen apologizes for Jordan hoax
125 - George lost in rivalry hatefest
120 - Ed Smart 'appalled' at testimony
100 - Revive full food tax?
97
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