Now all of a sudden you have found this FlyLady person in the newspaper, and she is telling you to clean up this mess.

The trouble is you don't think you made the mess, and therefore it is not your responsibility to clean it up.

You begin to spout out orders, and the family is looking at you like you are crazy. Why is Mom being such a pain? She has never acted like she cared before. Why now?

It is time that we stopped fussing about a job that isn't getting done by your family. Do you want to know why they are not much help? Well you better sit down for this one!

They are not lazy, no good, mean or even disrespectful. They are living in a house with a broken window. I can hear you now. We don't have broken windows. Yes, you do.

My sweet darling gave me this analogy. Your family has the broken window syndrome. In some cities, if a window is broken on an abandoned home in the neighborhood, it is fixed immediately! If you don't repair the damage as soon as it happens, before you know it the community will begin to fall into disrepair, crime will invade the area and all the other houses will begin to fall apart.

This is what happens in your home.

The place is a disaster. Tables are piled high, clothes are on the floor, and dishes are in the sink and on the counters. No one seems to notice, it has always been like this — at least to them and their short memories.

What does it matter if you add one more pair of socks to the pile or the newspaper on top of everything else on the table? No one can tell that you just dumped something else on the floor or didn't put away the dish you had ice cream in. It was already a mess and this isn't going to change its looks much. Messy is still messy.

It all boils down to the broken window syndrome. When the house is clean, one thing out of place shows up. But when it is trashed, who cares anyway? No one! including you.

Now set the example by shutting your mouth.

This means no more fussing! In the time that it takes to bless someone out for not doing the job, you could have it done. At that point you can say, "Johnny this is your hat, put it in the closet!" There will only be one hat on the table. Not 15 other items.

Your change in attitude is enough to show them that you are doing something different this time.

You can do this. It is easier than you think. Attitude is everything. When this attitude adjustment occurs then you can bless your home with everything you do. Not curse it. Love your family and show them, before long it will all come back to you in more blessing than you can count. Your example will get the help you want, but only if you do it in love.

FLYing is so easy for the whole family when you set the example!

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For more help getting rid of your CHAOS; check out: www.flylady.net. Also see Cilley's book, "Sink Reflections" and her new book, "Body Clutter." Copyright 2006 Marla Cilley Used by permission in this publication.