Reconciliation is up to sister

Dear Abby: This is a bit complicated. I was trying to help my sister, "Bree," last year while she was separated from her husband. (I was like a mediator.) I was her maid of honor when they were married years ago. We were close.

Bree is now accusing me of telling her ex about a man she was seeing while they were separated. I did not! She also claims I tried to sleep with her husband. I didn't do that either, Abby. He's not even my type.

She keeps fabricating lies to hurt me, and I keep rebutting them. I feel our relationship is irreparably damaged. Our parents want us to fix this. I really want to mend the rift, but I won't tolerate any more abuse from her. I have done nothing malicious. I almost hate her.

Bree and I live too far apart for counseling. Her young children will be visiting me in a couple of weeks. I love them very much. Do you think I have a chance of fixing our relationship when the kids come? I don't want to put any stress on them. They've been through enough. —Twisted Sisters in Florida

Dear Sisters: It would be interesting to know who filled your sister's head with the false information. If it was her ex-husband, it can be chalked up to his trying to cause as much damage as he could as a form of retaliation against you.

Under no circumstances should you involve your sister's children in this mess. You should, however, either try to reason with her via telephone, e-mail, a personal letter — or even a meeting in person, if she's willing. And that's all you or anyone can do. The rest is up to your sister.

Dear Abby: Two years ago, my only child, "Gwendolyn," who is now 32, had her first baby. Unfortunately, the baby was born during the exact week that my husband — her stepfather — and I attend his family reunion. (It is something we have done for the past 15 years.)

Gwendolyn is now enraged because we plan to attend the reunion instead of her baby's birthday party. (We were with her for the baby's birth and his first birthday party.)

I offered to compromise by having a separate celebration either before or after the reunion week, but she refused. She does not understand why we can't change our plans. My husband's family is scattered across the country, and this is the only time we see them. Can you offer me any advice? —Pulled in Two in S. Carolina

Dear Pulled in Two: Only this: Alternate. Next year attend the birthday party, the following year go to the reunion, etc. Attendance at either one is not a command performance.