From Deseret News archives:

Be patient with yourself and you'll fly

Published: Wednesday, Aug. 9, 2006 10:51 a.m. MDT
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We have heard that patience is a virtue. Some of us were not born with it, just like we were not born organized, but we can develop the habits that keep us from being impatient.

Just this morning I had to fax a 12-page document. I have an old fax machine, and it takes awhile for the pages to send. As I sat in the chair I thought of everything that I should've, could've, would've done. I decided to just sit there quietly and let the machine do its thing while I pondered on the word patience.

As sidetracked people; we want what we want and we want it now. We expect to be organized by osmosis, lose weight by eating anything we want and get fit by sitting on our fannies. We have lost the skill of being patient. It is our all-or-nothing perfectionist attitude that sabotages us once again. We are so wrapped up in wanting to see the results immediately that we burn ourselves out before we ever really get started. How sad for us. We don't even give new habits a chance, before we toss them out with the bath water.

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Every Tuesday night we bowl in a league. We have been bowling for several years. As I was bowling tonight I realized that I, too, am as impatient as all of you! I just expected my bowling score to get better without doing anything to help myself. Robert has been telling me to slow down for several months. I have a tendency to get in a hurry and fling the ball down the alley without thinking too much about what I am doing. About three weeks ago I started looking at my approach just like a basketball player would shoot free throws.

Have you ever watched a free throw shooter go through his or her routines before shooting the ball? Every coach will tell you that going through the rituals the same way every time you shoot will help you to consistently make your free throws. I started to do this. I would pick the ball up with both hands and then hold it in front of me and take three deep breaths and then hold the fourth breath and look right where I want the ball to go and then follow through with my arm. Doing the same thing each time I throw the ball.

I have found that when I am patient with myself and I relax and breathe that I do better. Imagine that. Practicing my routines makes me feel better about what I am doing. I am still not a great bowler but I consistently bowl my average. For that I am proud. It doesn't have to be a perfect game or a high scoring one to have fun with my friends.

We have to be patient with our new habits so that they will become routines. Habits take time to establish. It doesn't happen just because we want them to or because we have them written down; we actually have to go through the motions of our routines to help our brains establish the memory that will make them automatic. Please be patient with yourself and the whole FLYing process. We promise that if you will be patient then you will begin to reap the benefits of FLYing with routines.


For more help getting rid of your CHAOS; check out: www.flylady.net. Also see Cilley's book, "Sink Reflections" and her new book, "Body Clutter." Copyright 2006 Marla Cilley Used by permission in this publication.

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