Lael remembers it as humanitarian in more ways than one. It gave John a place to go, a bit of focus. It got him out of the house and into a world where he could use some of the magnificent contacts he'd made over the years.

She was worrying herself sick over bills. Still, he was on top of the world. No matter what went wrong, his wife said, he was "convinced he could do anything." He was always one step away from making a comeback.

He invested in trips to explore his career options. He cashed his checks from the humanitarian services office to buy a mountain bike or some other desired toy. Early on, the bike provided a physical outlet for him, and he rode it everywhere.

He seemed to have no concept of their new financial reality. But Lael knew. At one point, she was working three jobs to make ends meet, rushing home in between to check on John.

They moved to a smaller house. They sold the boat and a car to pay the bills. But they told themselves it was all right. They didn't need that much space. Most of the kids were grown and married. They didn't need the toys.

The other kids had moved out by this time. But Danny, the baby, was growing up in the middle of this. He doesn't remember the glory years when his dad was an important man in Washington. His memories of his dad are more basic.

While he never met the father who worked long hours and was a powerful policymaker in the nation's capital, he's the only one with a child's memories of a father who was always available to him. Who stayed home and played with him. Every day, into his high school years.

Danny got the scaled-down life. But perhaps he got to know John Askew better than the other children. There's no question that he had the best view of the devastation that was beginning to take place.

· · · · ·

As John's world — and therefore his wife's — fell apart, the family assumed he was having some kind of nervous breakdown. But that didn't help them figure out what to do. They needed professional help.

Lael started keeping a list of the things that worried her:

John couldn't concentrate.

He couldn't understand "Hi, how was your day?" when the TV was on. He'd have to turn it off and ask, "What?"