Summer is time for kids to learn life lessons

A few weeks ago I was feeling like Stellar Mom. It was a summer morning and, by thunder, we were on our summer schedule: Children were up, ready for the day, workbooks completed and now it was time for . . . our LIFESkill chore of the week. Yes, it was that bonding, teaching moment helping my children become thriving adults by properly mopping a hardwood kitchen floor.

What fun this would be! An hour later I was so exasperated that in the midst of actually yelling at my children (about a kitchen floor, mind you) it was necessary for a major time out — for me. I gathered them several minutes later to apologize and repair the damage of this traumatic association between mopping and hysteria. I was reminded of two things: First, it's a kitchen floor, not the Sistine Chapel; and two, no matter the frustration, it is vital for our children to spend their summer doing something more than playing baseball and Xbox.

Most parents want their children to have an ideal summer as a part of an ideal childhood. But along with sports, water parks and part-time jobs, summer is a fabulous time to help our children prepare for adulthood. Do not feel guilty telling Buster that the championship is over and it's time to learn how to make a real dinner. Keep focused on the fact that Buster will someday leave the nest and hopefully be well prepared to stay there instead of flying back home to relive the glory days of a soccer tourney.

Just like many of you, we have a little morning system (that sometimes melts into the afternoon, late evening, hurry-and-finish-in-the car system). I personally enjoy the Summer Bridge workbook series: good for children to get their mental gymnastics finished in 20 minutes and great for parents as each day is outlined with a bit of math and language with sign-offs for reading and rewards, all in one handy book that I didn't have to create.

Along with mental stimulation, summer chores can be more meaningful than we-gotta-dos. We are using the pass-off method — three times of doing a chore, namely training, practice and pass off. In training I model the chore (refer to above trauma) and they model it back, practice is when they basically do it alone, and pass off they do completely alone. After reaching pass-off status they can earn money for this chore. Our children receive no allowance in summer, mostly because my husband and I despise keeping track, and when they complain I launch into the "I picked strawberries in the heat of the day when I was only 11, so if you want money . . . " They get the picture. Each week they still have unpaid core chores, the basics of self, home and rub mom's feet.