Help friend to disconnect from the computer world

Published: Monday, June 5 2006 11:14 a.m. MDT

I have a friend who is addicted to being on the computer. She makes all these different Web-site layouts and updates them a lot. The problem is, she gets to bed very late and is really tired, and sometimes she can't finish her homework. I want to help her get disconnected from the computer and the Internet, but I don't know how. —Beth, 15, Glendale, Calif.

OK, I can actually relate to this. I just got a MySpace page (myspace.com/atoosa17), and it took me a few days to get back to normal — the way my MySpace world had taken over my head was a little crazy!

Being addicted to the Web is like many other addictions: Your friend probably likes her virtual reality better than her actual reality. She needs more stuff in her real life that makes her happy. Ironically, the more she slips into her virtual world, the less she'll have in her real life to look forward to — it's a slippery slope.

Here's how you can help: First of all, talk to her (um, offline, please). Ask her what she loves about her various Web pages. Let's say she gets to meet a lot more boys on the Internet. Well, that takes me to my second piece of advice — get out there and do real-world stuff together.

If she's into chatting with guys online, you need to take her places where there are more guys she can meet in person. That is just a small example, but my point is, you can help her come up with fun, non-Internet-related stuff for the two of you to do together.

If your friend's Web world is affecting her grades and social life, it's a sign she has a serious problem — one you can't help her with alone: Her parents need to get involved. Stop by her house when you know she isn't home and talk to her parents. Say that you don't want to sound alarmist, but you're concerned about your friend, and you know that your parents would want to know if you were in a situation like this.

Depending on how serious your friend's problem is, she might need to see a therapist. (Being addicted to the Internet is similar to being addicted to a substance.) One thing she will continue to need is your support. She's lucky to have you, sister.


Questions may be sent directly to Atoosa Rubenstein at: dearseventeen@hearst.com. Atoosa Rubenstein, the founding editor of CosmoGirl! magazine, is the editor in chief of Seventeen magazine. © Hearst Communications Inc. Distributed by King Features Syndicate Inc.

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