Self-worth helps 'human beans' blossom

At the dinner table one evening, my 8-year-old daughter talked excitedly about how wonderful it was to be a "human bean."

"A human what?" I asked.

"A human bean," she repeated.

"Say it slowly," I instructed. "You're a what?"

"A HUMAN BEAN! You know, like a string bean or a red bean. I'm a human bean." She offered me this information as though I had suddenly gone dense.

"Oh," was all I could respond at that moment. Somewhere along the line we had missed the boat. My daughter's self-concept was that of a "human bean." Some corrections were obviously in order and so the conversation proceeded in a predictable manner.

A few weeks later this concept of self surfaced again, when I nearly flipped over an ad in which the Del Monte Co. offered T-shirts printed with: "I AM A HUMAN BEAN."

In light of my daughter's misconception, I couldn't pass it up. The children paraded around in those silly T-shirts all summer.

Since that time, I've learned a lot about the need for a good self-concept and sense of self-worth to enable us to live happy and well-adjusted lives. Self-concept is the general notion each person has of himself. It refers to how each one of us thinks and feels about "me, myself and I."

While it is generally believed that we are born without any preconceived ideas about ourselves, the self-concept develops from the instant of birth. It begins with our first notion of our body. Body image is how we perceive our physical self — size, shape, strength, coloration, features — and evolves over time.

As we grow older, we gain more experience with ourselves and our surroundings, and soon with others. Our self-concept is the result of these experiences, both alone and with others, and comes to include our mental capacities — including personality traits, talents, values, attitudes, and abilities. Together they form the emerging self-image.

Because that unique "self" is rarely without clothing, our self-concept expands to include the way we dress. It expands further to include the way we groom ourselves — care for and carry ourselves. Compliments or criticisms about our clothing and grooming are taken as compliments or criticisms of self.