From Deseret News archives:

Deadly taboo: Youth suicide an epidemic that many in Utah prefer to ignore

Published: Monday, April 24, 2006 12:37 p.m. MDT
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"We'd rather not talk about it at all or maybe to go talk to the bishop about it," he said. "If there really is a mental health issue you need help. It doesn't work to talk to the youth leaders or ecclesiastic leaders."

Teen suicide is an odd issue for an attorney general's time, but Shurtleff has a personal stake in the topic. Her name is Danielle.

His adopted daughter deals with several psychological disorders that induce suicidal thoughts.

Dressed in black jeans, black skater shoes and a Green Day hoodie, Danielle Shurtleff exudes attitude. Her auburn hair falls lazily onto her shoulders. She can be a brawler one minute, a sweetheart the next. But the gleam in her eye suggests more puff than huff.

Thirteen-year-old Danielle says she has contemplated suicide for all kinds of reasons:

When her parents didn't listen. When her parents took a sibling's side. When her parents thought they understood but didn't. When someone was mean to her. When friends turned their backs on her. When something didn't go right.

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Those are common occurrences in a teenager's life. Most might be upset or angry for a couple of days. But most aren't born with fetal alcohol spectrum syndrome. They aren't diagnosed with ADHD, depression and oppositional defiant disorder. Danielle deals with all of those. She goes through periods of inconsolable sadness and uncontrollable rage.

Shurtleff held her late one night while she sobbed, "I want to die. I want to die." On another evening, he wrestled a knife away from her during a youth activity at their LDS Church ward. He cut his hand in the process.

Danielle has learned to grapple with suicidal thoughts and come out on top. She's learned to defuse the bad thoughts that come fast and hard some days: "Why am I living? What's the point if my life is so bad? Why am I living?"

Now she can answer herself.

"If I kill myself, I won't be able to ride my dirt bike."

"If I kill myself, I'll hurt the two young neighbor kids who look up to me."

"If I kill myself, maybe my friends will think suicide is the answer."

"Maybe I should wait to see how things come out."

A regimen of antidepressants, antipsychotics and ADHD medication keep her stable. Therapy has taught her coping strategies: Stop. Think. Act. Review.

She shares some of her new techniques with her dad. Recently, the two were driving together, and Shurtleff was struggling with the complexities of his Blackberry. He was mad and ready to heave it out the window.

"Daddy, stop and think about this," Danielle said. "You have some choices here."


E-mail: lucy@desnews.com; romboy@desnews.com

Recent comments

mormon... not morman

taco | Nov. 13, 2009 at 11:52 a.m.

My family had a close incounter with a morman teenager in our town....

marlene | Sept. 4, 2009 at 4:21 p.m.

To May. I do not feel that a religious relationship would save people...

ryan k | July 24, 2009 at 8:40 p.m.

Image

Crista Eggett sits in the room of her brother, Blake, a talented Riverton High School flute player who committed suicide Oct. 28, 2005.

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