I have been overweight since giving birth to my son more than 30 years ago. Yes, I have tried to lose weight, but I was never really successful, and I have finally figured out why. It took writing the book "Body Clutter" for me to see that you just can't wish weight away; you have to develop a structure in your life that will help you to succeed with your new lifestyle. I am thankful that I have finally faced my body clutter and made healthy changes in my life.

Just like we had to build our routines to get our homes in order we have to do the same thing when it comes to becoming healthy. The best part is that we can piggy-back these routines with the effective ones we already have in place. It does not take much planning to make these essential changes that will put us on a healthier path in life.

I have always hated the word diet! When I look at the word all I see is DIE! When I used to diet I would feel so deprived that I would think that I would die if I couldn't have that piece of candy. We always want what we can't have. This is why changing our lifestyle is hard.

I have found a simple game I can play with myself that helps me to celebrate with each meal. If I have a salad, it is hard for me to eat it without some sort of dressing. So I put the dressing on the side. It is there if I feel like touching my lettuce to it. The secret is not depriving myself of it; giving myself permission and then celebrating that I did not eat it all and ask for seconds. Do you see how this can be empowering?

My perfectionism used to cause me to throw my meal plan out the window when I messed up and eat something that I was not supposed to. I have realized that I don't have to be perfect to enjoy eating better. That one little bite of a taboo food is not the end of world. I am celebrating the fact that I did not eat the whole thing!

Do you see the difference? I am not beating myself up anymore. I don't have to continue to punish myself. In the long run, when you toss the plan out the window over one mistake, you are saying that you are not worth it. Well, I am worth it! Warts and all! It is such a relief to know that I don't have to be perfect anymore; I can make mistakes and still lose the body clutter that is between my ears and on my thighs.

As I look back at my years of weight gain I see denial that there was a problem. When we stick our heads in the sand we don't evolve. We just continue to grow by adding more body clutter. We make excuses for our eating. We slip around and try to even fool ourselves into thinking that no one sees. What can it hurt, anyway? Well, it does hurt us even if no one sees.

We have been lying to ourselves for a very long time. When a tree falls in the forest does it still make a noise? Yes, that body clutter does still collect on our backside even when no one is around to see us eat it. When are we going to face our stuff instead of stuffing our faces?

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Marla Cilley, a k a FlyLady, is the author of Sink Reflections (Bantam Books Trade Paperback). For more help, please go to: www.FlyLady.net. © 2006