Envy — Sin that's 'no fun at all' has elements of pride, greed, anger

The gluttonous eat, the lustful have sex, the slothful sleep, the angry blow off steam, the greedy accumulate, the prideful feel especially good about themselves. Sins aside, there is something that at least might look like an upside to six of the seven deadly sins. But what do the envious do?

Want. Seethe. Feel cheated and miserable because someone else has the very house, child, job, admiration they desire. But the truly envious don't stop there. If they can't have what you have, they want you to not have it, either.

"Of the seven deadly sins, only envy is no fun at all," writes Joseph Epstein in the book "Envy." "Surely it is the one that people are least likely to want to own up to, for to do so is to admit that one is probably ungenerous, mean, small-hearted."

In 30 years of listening to clients, Salt Lake psychologist Mark Owens has never had anyone come in and say "I need help because of my problem with envy." Nearly ditto for longtime pastor Don McCullough, who is now president of the Salt Lake Theological Seminary.

"There aren't many people who seek pastoral care for envy," McCullough says. "It's one of those sins that people will once in a while confess, but they're often not troubled by it." Maybe that's because, unlike adultery or stealing, envy does not so obviously wreak havoc. "Envy is usually more subtle. It eats away in a quiet way."

As neo-conservative author and theologian Michael Novak says, envy rarely travels under its own name. People rarely say "I'm envious." They say, instead, "That's not fair," or "I also deserve," or "Why did he get the promotion when my work is clearly better?" There's an element of pride involved with envy, and some greed, and often anger as well — the three poisons, as Zen Buddhist Genpo Roshi of Salt Lake's Kanzeon Zen Center explains.

"It's the hidden emotion," says Epstein.

So hidden that we often aren't aware that envy might be the motive for those times when we are critical or dismissive of others.

Although it may seem like splitting hairs, most people argue that envy and jealousy are related but aren't twins. It's generally agreed that jealousy is about something (or, more likely, someone) you worry might be taken away from you, whereas envy is about something other people have that you want. Envy, says Epstein, is "usually less about what one lacks than about what other people have."