'Bedford' is a big bore

Let's ignore for a moment that "The Bedford Diaries" is a tacky, tawdry, tasteless new series that's about sex, sex and more sex.

There are better reasons to avoid this new WB series, which premieres tonight at 8 on Ch. 30. Namely, it's a huge, honkin' bore.

Even viewers who tune in just to be titillated are going to doze off. It's that dull.

"Bedford" is certainly trying to be anything but boring. This is not exactly subtle stuff — we get our first glimpse of a bare bottom about 20 seconds into the first episode; we have to wait just over a minute before we get a glimpse of a second bare bottom.

And did I mention that the show is about sex, sex and more sex?

Set at a New York City college campus, the action (no pun intended) revolves around a very special seminar taught by professor Jake Macklin (Matthew Modine).

"Think back to your last sexual encounter," he tells his new students. "A month ago? This morning? Were you with a lover? A stranger? Were you by yourself? How did it make you feel. Excited? Guilty? Insatiable? Blissful? Disconnected?

"Welcome to Sexual Behavior and the Human Condition."

Each student must videotape their innermost sexual feelings. Share their secrets.

They're not secrets to us. "Bedford" begins with college freshman Owen (Penn Badgely) hopping out of bed after a one-night stand.

Other class members include Owen's older sister Sarah (Tiffany Dupont), who's the student-body president; Natalie (Corri English), who survived a suicide attempt; recovering alcoholic/big jerk Richard (Milo Ventimiglia), the editor of the college paper; Lee (Ernest Waddell), a scholarship student from Queens; and Zoe (Victoria Cartagena), who lets us know she's a virgin — not counting oral sex).

There's also a nitpicky professor (Audra McDonald) who butts heads with Macklin and a fatherly dean of students (Peter Gerety).

You know exactly what you're getting here.

"We did not go in and pitch a show about accounting," said executive producer Tom Fontana. "And so the nature of the show is, we're dealing with sexuality."

But there's not a single character for viewers to care about. After a couple of episodes of this, there isn't a single personality worth caring about enough to come back and watch again.

Oh, and did I mentioned that "Bedford" is stupid? We're told that this seminar is the hottest thing going on campus and that all sorts of people are trying desperately to get in — and yet there are at least a couple of freshmen among the dozen in this bunch. Uh huh.

Perhaps the writers and producers were trying so hard to be provocative that they forget to be interesting.

The most shocking thing about "Bedford Diaries" is that it comes to us from the producers of "Homicide: Life on the Street" and "Oz."

We know that Fontana can do better than this. Much better.

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E-mail: pierce@desnews.com