What's next Oly 'sport': men's pairs ice dance?

A few questions to ponder after watching 17 days of the NBC Torino Winter Games and Commercials, which were occasionally interrupted by Olympic competition:

1. Just wondering: Did Johnny Weir raid Liberace's closet, or did he just borrow his costumes from Elton John?

2. When the stands at Torino are half empty (or half full) and TV viewers are tuning in "O.C." or "CSI" instead of the Olympics, is it really a good idea to have the Summer or Winter Games every two years?

3. Is it possible people don't think that skeleton and that alpine sniper event is compelling viewing?

4. Fleeting thought while listening to interviews with the snowboard Olympians: Do they compete in the half pipe, or is that what they're smoking?

5. Why does the snowboarders' lexicon sound more like a late-night snack binge than maneuvers they perform, i.e. Chicken salad air, Canadian bacon air, McTwist, pop tart, Swiss cheese air, roast-beef air, McEgg?

6. Was that ice dancing or a Victoria's Secret special?

7. If they combined speedskating's big track with short track's head-to-head competition, wouldn't they have a better spectator sport — one that matches skaters against skaters, rather than the clock, on a track that consists of more than left-hand turns? And what are we to make of relay teams that skate in OPPOSITE directions?

8. Housekeepers want to know: Do the guys with the curling brooms do kitchen floors, too?

9. Given the current climate, is it only a matter of time before men's pairs ice dancing debuts in the Olympics?

10. If, as Bryant Gumbel put it, the "paucity of blacks" hurts the Winter Games' credibility, does the paucity of whites hurt the NBA and NFL?

11. Given the paucity of skeleton competitors in the world — a k a people who fly down the hill on cafeteria trays — why is it in the Olympic Games? Is the addition of tubing inevitable?

12. Should any event in which an "athlete's" performance consists entirely of lying flat on his stomach or back be an Olympic sport?

13. Is it really a good idea to launch ski aerialists 50 feet into the air without a net? Shouldn't this act be in the circus?

14. When a snowboarder can fall on her keister, get back up and still win the silver medal, does it mean something is wrong with snowboard cross?