The unseen realm

My father visits my dream, and death had not changed him, and his voice sounded like it always had . . . — Eileen Sheehan, poet

Dreaming — whether in pleasant reverie or nightmarish angst — has long been accepted not only as a real physiological phenomenon but as a common human experience. But when the dying describe open-eyed visions of long-dead relatives and friends, those who don't "see" the extra people in the room usually grow skeptical.

"Demented," "crazy" or "lost it" are the labels, whether whispered or silent.

Yet some of those who work most closely with the dying report such events as highly spiritual experiences that occur across faith traditions and cultures, and includes agnostics and atheists. And though it is still taboo to validate such things in clinical or academic settings, science is making some room for near-death experiences beyond the tangible, physical world.

Meanwhile, hospice chaplains watch such "pre-death visions" play out daily as their patients slip away.

Jennifer Hammargren was told by doctors that she had only six months to live. As a patient facing death, much of the knowledge she acquired preparing to be a hospital administrator seemed less important than preparing spiritually for her future.

Given what she calls a "reprieve," Hammargren not only didn't die, but she uses what she learned through the process of preparing for her own death to help those who are in the last stages of life. As a local chaplain for VistaCare hospice services, she's watched thousands of people make the transition from life to death.

She sees a definable pattern of behavior in patients who are dying, much of it involving a "life review" that includes making amends with family and friends and a process called "faith questioning." As patients examine their religious beliefs, or the lack of, they come to define what "spiritual" means for them — whether specific beliefs or simply the love of nature or laughter. Hammargren believes those personality traits are part of each person's spirituality.

Once patients come to a deeper spiritual understanding, they often begin to "see" people in the room whom they don't know, sometimes children who "visit" and may not speak. Some describe people they are not related to but who they think they may have known when they were young, she said. Others describe relatives they don't know personally but have heard stories about. Still others describe visits by favorite pets.