Working with a spouse is very risky business

It's generally a really bad idea to fire an employee at her home, but there's a notable exception: when that employee is your wife.

In that case, it's an abysmal idea.

Though he loves her dearly, Gabe Karp had never liked the idea of working with his spouse, Rachel. "I'd rather go to a dentist appointment every day of the week," he says.

Part of the problem was that his wife tended to want more "Honey-Sweetie" displays of affection than Karp was willing to provide at the office. He also had a habit of using his "work tone of voice" — curt, staccato bullet points — when he talked to her. "You don't have to speak to me that way," she would say. "You can ask nicely." And when he raised an issue about her work, she sometimes took it personally and countered with a retort like, "Oh yeah, well I noticed you left your dishes in the sink this morning."

The situation had developed almost by accident: In June 2004, when Ms. Karp, an attorney, was about to take maternity leave from her company, she asked her husband, an attorney at a law firm, to do some work for the interactive-promotions agency. While she was away, her husband's role grew to include her job. She eventually returned part-time, but it soon became clear that the fast-growing business needed its attorneys to work full time.

But that didn't make the task of laying her off any easier for Mr. Karp, who was urged to do the dastardly deed by the company's chief operations officer. So he waited until they were at home together one day, and after a long buildup he told her, "Honey, I'm gonna have to let you go." Ms. Karp understood the business wisdom of what he was doing. But don't think she's forgotten: "Don't forget you took my job and you fired me," she reminds him regularly.

The media are filled with stories about husbands and wives sweetly banding together to build businesses. And no doubt there are countless couples — the proverbial moms and pops — who have found a way to take their marriage to work. But if you can't talk about your spouse as a "life partner" without a wince and you can't stand watching your husband leave the Liquid Paper as well as the toothpaste uncapped, then odds are you aren't a candidate.

"I believe about 5 percent of couples can pull it off," says Azriela Jaffe, a writer who has coached couples who work together. "There are very few couples who want to be together 24-7, and it's not a reflection on how much they love one another."