For perfect baby shower, try crafts instead of games and plenty of gifts

NEW YORK — A baby shower is supposed to be a happy occasion, so why do so many people cringe at the thought of attending one?

Sometimes it's even the mother-to-be who is thinking of an excuse to leave before it starts.

"A shower can be boring," acknowledges entertainment consultant Gia Russo.

To make a baby shower the pleasant experience it should be for everyone involved, it's important to have a plan beyond some snacks and the opening of gifts, Russo says. However, traditional shower activities — bottle bowling or name games, for example — shouldn't be on the schedule. They're the things that make people cringe most.

Instead, Russo suggests projects or crafts that become keepsakes for the baby, or spa treatments such as manicures, pedicures or reflexology as activities. Another idea is to ask guests to bring a copy of their favorite children's book as a contribution to the baby's library.

Watching the almost-mom open presents shouldn't be scrapped since giving her supplies and gifts is indeed the purpose of a shower, Russo says.

It's OK if the gift is bulky (maybe a stroller or a Diaper Genie) to send it to the expectant mother's home and simply bring a card to the shower alerting her the gift is on the way, Russo says, but it's not OK to show up empty-handed, even if the guest is superstitious or religious about pre-birth gifts. In that case, the guest should decline the invitation to attend the shower — and send the gift when she's comfortable with it.

"Gift-giving is such an important part of the shower. Most moms open them at the shower and it might seem strange to not have one," Russo observes.

If the expectant mother thinks it's bad luck to receive gifts before birth, she should forgo the shower and consider a "welcome-the-baby" party when she feels up to it, adds Russo, herself a new mom to a 3-month-old boy.

She had two showers, perfectly acceptable by etiquette rules as long as the same people aren't invited to both. One was intimate for close family members and friends, the other was for business colleagues.

"What was fun about one of my showers was that everyone was asked in their invitation for a (gift) theme. They were 'baby's first' something. First outing at the beach. First plane trip. It was kind of a game because I had to try and figure out the theme," Russo recalls.