Today on TV

King of Queens (7 p.m., Ch. 2): Doug isn't trusted with a baby.

Surface (7 p.m., Ch. 5): Laura and Rich are being pursued by secret agents.

Critics Choice Awards (7 p.m., Ch. 30): Dennis Miller, who wouldn't be the critics' choice to host an afternoon tea, hosts this show that features the opinions of movie critics — a show that's never been televised before, with good reason. (Taped)

How I Met Your Mother (7:30 p.m., Ch. 2): Ted takes Robin as his date when he goes to a friend's wedding.

Two and a Half Men (8 p.m., Ch. 2): Alan has a breakdown — but it's Charlie who goes to see a therapist.

Emily's Reasons Why Not (8 p.m., Ch. 4): Premiere of this new show about a young career woman (Heather Graham) looking for love.

Las Vegas (8 p.m., Ch. 5): Is the hotel haunted?

Out of Practice (8:30 p.m., Ch. 2): Everybody is snowbound together.

Jake in Progress (8:30 p.m., Ch. 4): Jake (John Stamos) still can't get over the woman who dumped him three years earlier. (Second-season premiere)

CSI: Miami (9 p.m., Ch. 2): A guy is murdered while he's trying to pick up girls.

The Bachelor: Paris (9 p.m., Ch. 4): It's set in France, but it's still the same dumb, boring show. (Sixth-season premiere)

Medium (9 p.m., Ch. 5): The spirit of a psychopathic doctor responsible for the murder of 14 young girls returns, and this time he's after Allison's daughter.