Doxstader himself goes to counseling. Loud noises, barbecues and roadkill flash him back to the Iraqi war zone where he saw death nearly every day for 16 months.

The flesh and the blood of a dead deer on a Salt Lake highway recently appeared to him as a fallen soldier. It put him back in his Humvee patrolling the battered streets of Bagdahd.

"I'm looking for other body parts, a vehicle blown up," Doxstader said.

Questions race through his mind. Who died? Who was he? What kind of person was he?

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Mike Doxstader

Rank: Sergeant

Unit: 1st Cavalry Division, 2nd Brigade Combat Team; 91st Engineer Battalion

Tour: Nov. 2003-March 2005

Residence: Sandy

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E-mail: romboy@desnews.com