Don't make big deal about 4-year-old's pickiness

Question: My 4-year-old son will hardly eat anything. When he was a baby, he had a strong gag reflex and had trouble eating solid food. He has almost always refused new food.

For the past two years, his diet has mainly consisted of peanut butter, cheddar cheese, yogurt, cookies, potato chips and chocolate milk. When I introduce anything new, he screams, "I don't eat that!"

I don't push him into trying new things. I usually accept that he will eventually try new food out of curiosity.

My son goes to preschool and recently got a new teacher. She says that he is beginning to eat some of his food at lunch and snack. Before the new teacher, he went all day without eating a bite at school. But at home, he still will not eat anything that is not in his usual diet.

What should I do? —C.S., New Orleans

Answer: It is not uncommon for an infant with a strong gag reflex and trouble swallowing to become a picky eater later on. These early experiences may have made your child wary of new foods, and may have made you understandably concerned about his eating as well.

Often, in a situation like this, a child's worries and a parent's create a vicious cycle that a less-involved and skillful outsider may be able to break. His routine diet sounds as if it includes a number of nourishing foods, but you should check with his doctor to be sure that his weight and height stay on track.

His doctor may also do a blood test to see whether he is getting enough iron — he may very well find that an iron supplement and vitamins are needed. Fortunately, these come in such appealing tastes that parents need to keep them out of children's reach to keep them from eating too many.

Once you are sure his basic nutritional needs are covered, and that he's growing and gaining properly, you'll find it easier to leave his choices entirely up to him.

This is bound to be more difficult after his stormy start. Liking his new teacher at school has made him readier to try out new foods, so he can enlarge his tastes in that setting. Don't try to get him to do the same at home right now. He'll let you know when he's ready — if you don't ask.

Meanwhile, no grazing between meals, though children this age usually need a regularly scheduled snack in the morning and afternoon.