The battle royal over Christmas is centuries old

Since I wrote two weeks ago about nationwide fears over the "holiday-izing" of Christmas — along with my personal opinion that it's nothing to get too exercised over as long as people are free to the celebrate Christ's birth without sanctions — the war has nonetheless escalated.

Those pine trees Lowe's was calling "holiday trees" at its stores are now "Christmas trees" and after more than 500,000 online shoppers threatened a boycott, Target, which had eliminated the word "Christmas" from its stores' ads and promotions, has had a change of heart and pledged better respect for the "Christmas" holidays now and in the future.

All across the land, people are responding to what Fox News anchor John Gibson called in his recently published book, "the liberal plot to ban the sacred Christmas holidays."

In Washington, D.C., Dennis Hastert, the Republican speaker of the House, renamed the national holiday tree at the Capitol the national "Christmas tree."

In Florida, the Rev. Jerry Falwell, whose Liberty Counsel has organized lawsuits against cities not allowing public nativity scenes, has said in a Christian soldier kind of way, "We're kicking their butts."

But hold the phone. It turns out the original plot to ban the Christmas holidays in America wasn't by liberals at all. It was by a group of Puritans in New England who, in 1659, not long after the Pilgrims touched down on Plymouth Rock in search of religious freedom, made Christmas illegal.

In the old-time religion, having a good time at the expense of the Savior's birth was not smiled upon.

For 21 years, until 1681, celebrating Christmas in Massachusetts was against the law.

This wasn't just the case in New England, but also in old England, where Parliament banned Christmas in 1644 and threw offenders in jail on the charge of heresy.

First inmate: "What are you in for?"

Second inmate: "Torching an orphanage. How about you?"

"Celebrating Christmas."

All across colonial America, for almost 200 years, "celebrating" Christmas was not cool. The observance of Christ's birth was strictly a sacred thing. Kids were not allowed to participate. Saying "Merry Christmas" was considered bad form. And Christmas trees? Do not get them started on Christmas trees, a pagan ritual that somehow forged its way into Christendom's holy day.