Try embracing the 'I Think I Can' spirit

What is it about our sidetracked attitudes that tell us we can't! The least little thing gets in our way and we automatically throw in the towel before we ever get started. It is as if we are defeated, or maybe it is we get all excited about something and we get deflated and our little bubble just bursts. How sad is it that we give up before we ever get started. My granny always said, "Cain't never could do anything!"

In the last few days I have received messages from people whining that they do not have money for Christmas. I will never forget one year that I didn't have any money. There was no money to go visit my family. I was sad. It was my first holiday in North Carolina, and at the time I was married to a doofus. I wanted our first holiday to be special.

I think the difference was that I was determined to make it work. I wonder if determination is really the difference or the fact that I am stubborn and refuse to allow someone to beat me down. I have always known I was smart, and given any circumstance, I could and would succeed. I don't know if I was born with this kind of determination or if it's just rebellion. The reason I am trying to figure this out is because I want to help you get rid of the learned behavior of giving up.

When we give up and don't even try; we are allowing all the naysayers in our lives and our past to win! The best revenge is to just show them that you can do it! You don't have to come out and say it, but you can yell it at the top of your lungs in the shower! "GO ME!" We have to learn how to be our own biggest cheerleader! Who else is going to cheer you on! I will, but until you replace those negative words in your head, I will be fighting with them every day.

Just this morning I was talking to my mentor, Pam Young. We discussed giving up and why our FlyBabies give up before they even give it a try. We came to the conclusion that it was that ugly "P" word again: perfectionism. If we didn't even try we couldn't fail. At this point I think the guilt we feel from giving up is worse than the failure.

I told her about the holiday dinner I had made with the change I could find in the house and the car — less than $20. She told me about her first Christmas as a single mom. There were not many presents under the tree. She felt that it was pretty slim pickings, so she went into the basement to find some more things to wrap. She found a box of balloons and decided to blow up as many balloons as she could to create a party atmosphere. Balloons were everywhere. The room was filled! Then they let the cat inside. He proceeded to attack each balloon. Her grown children do not remember other Christmas mornings but they still talk about the Christmas the cat attacked the balloons.