Now we have created industries to teach parents how to let the children express themselves so as not to hurt their self-esteem and have "quality time" with them. Though the past generation of parents got tired of saying "no" and reinforcing rules, they knew that was the "quality time" needed in order to raise a "quality kid" who would live by the rules without being told (except by that constant mom in the head). We have all kinds of laws to punish lawbreakers from running red lights, to poachers, to white collar to serious crimes. Yet, many are outdated and enforced arbitrarily. Is it any wonder we have adults ignoring and making a mockery of our laws? Is it any wonder we have youths who disrespect authority? I would like to have a dollar for the number of times I have heard teachers say they are disrespected and told, "My dad makes more than you do."

To try to teach what was never taught like the "old-fashioned moms," we now have a booming therapeutic industry and ethics graduate courses in colleges and corporate offices. We have therapy, interventions and courts sentencing offenders to the fix-all psychiatric evaluation and therapy. The latest fad is anger management for spouse abusers and bullying students.

Sept. 11, 2001, made us more fearful and eager to find scapegoats and quick-fix solutions. We have embarked on slogans such as, "What part of illegal don't you understand?" Well, it seems we have become a society where we don't know what is legal and what is not. We don't know what "no" means any more because no one knows which laws, if any, are enforced. We punish illegal workers but not illegal employers.

We like to blame athletes as role models for the problems of our children. Yet youths keep telling us the most important role models they ever have are their parents.

Parents take heed: It's us who decide what is legal or illegal, including stamp collecting.

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Utah native John Florez has founded several Hispanic civil rights organizations and has served on the staff of Sen. Orrin Hatch and on more than 45 state, local and volunteer boards. He also has been deputy assistant secretary of labor. E-mail: jdflorez@comcast.net

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