So of course the frantic reactions that biting usually sets off means he'll get plenty of attention, leading him to bite again. He may also need to bite again to try to figure out what all the fuss is about or because the intense reactions around him give him a sense of power that very little else he can do ever does.

Perhaps the teachers could try to respond to some of the positive things he does with as much intensity. And you might look for a playmate his own age who won't put up with his aggressive responses, one who, when he bites, will say, "It hurts. I don't like it. I won't play with you if you bite."

To put a stop to all the biting, details about what sets it off and what settles it down are needed, but often these are lost in the panic reactions. Then, of course, no one knows what to do.

Ask for the details of some of these incidents at day care. Are there warning signs in his behavior that might tip teachers off to move in early to distract or even briefly isolate him? Are there specific triggers, predictable events that upset him or overexcite him that can be avoided, or if unavoidable can be followed up with individualized soothing?

You might suggest that he either be given something safe to bite on before he bites anyone. Once he does, he needs to be put in a safe isolated place and told quietly, "No one likes to be bitten. When you can get yourself under control, you can play again."

But he'll need the teachers to return quickly to comfort him. If he tries to contain himself, he needs praise for that: "It's tough to be 2 years old and unable to control yourself."

Learning how is a lifetime project, and you can start by teaching him how.

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Questions or comments should be addressed to Dr. T. Berry Brazelton and Dr. Joshua Sparrow, care of The New York Times Syndication Sales Corp., 609 Greenwich St., 6th Floor, New York, NY 10014-3610. Questions may also be sent by e-mail to: nytsyn-families@nytimes.com. Questions of general interest will be answered in this column. Drs. Brazelton and Sparrow regret that unpublished letters cannot be answered individually. Responses to questions are not intended to constitute or to take the place of medical or psychiatric evaluation, diagnosis or treatment. If you have a question about your child's health or well-being, consult your child's health-care provider. © T. Berry Brazelton, M.D., and Joshua Sparrow, M.D. Distributed by New York Times Special Features