Pignanelli & Webb: It's Labor Day weekend. Time to reflect back on those fun summer experiences. Schoolchildren across the state are penning essays on the topic, "What I did on my summer vacation." As a public service to our readers, we asked Utah's politicians to respond to the similar inquiry. Here are the results:

Gov. Jon Huntsman Jr.: "Being the guv is a tough job, but somebody has to do it. I spent the summer schmoozing important people in neat resorts, hanging with the Mexican Prez, chowing down on tacos on State Street, doing guest performances with famous rock-and-roll bands, riding my Harleys, and cruising on a wave of a strong economy. My job approval ratings are sky high and life is good. My autumn project is to devise a way to keep those pesky legislators from hanging around Capitol Hill and fooling around with state government."

Lt. Gov. Gary Herbert: "I spent the summer giving speeches with plentiful references to the 'Huntsman-Herbert administration.' I don't think anyone has forgotten my name . . . so far."

Sen. Orrin Hatch: "I spent the summer trying to memorize the names of Congressman Rob Bishop and Congressman Chris Cannon but still forgot them in my convention speech. But I did remember to praise Congressman Jim Matheson. I took some time out from composing songs to look up the definition of an 'Urquhart.' It's an ancient Welsh name for an ungrateful upstart who is a pain in the neck."

Utah Democrat Party: "For this summer, we adopted the strategy of saying absolutely nothing. We hope everyone noticed."

Rep. Rob Bishop: "I worked on my dry wit during the summer. It's a little more moist now, but lots of people still don't get my jokes. It's like a story I told about Frank Pignanelli. One reason Frank is a little weird is that when he was young he thought he was a chicken. He made clucking noises and flapped his elbows and people made fun of him. I asked his parents why they just didn't tell him he was really a little boy, not a chicken, and they said, 'Well, we probably should have, but we were quite poor in those days and we really needed the eggs.' So why don't people get my jokes?"

• Page:
• 1
• 2
• 3
• Next >