Many church leaders are now seeing serious problems among teens who "spend much more time with machines than people," even though gospel lessons, moral character and social skills are all learned from interaction with others. "People can't believe you can form an emotional association with a machine, but you can," he said.

Some teens have incorpo rated the Internet and digital cameras into a habit of sexually deviant behavior that is then triggered not by other people, but by the machines themselves, he said. "Wise parents regulate the amount of time kids spend with machines."

A societal obsession with money and material possessions has so infiltrated many homes that parents now hold school teachers accountable if their children don't get the grades they will need to get into the right university. Academic honesty and true learning become the casualties, he said.

Broken marriages, a misunderstanding of true love as opposed to sexual satisfaction, and a lack of personal integrity among parents and within institutions also translate into a lack of desire for meaningful achievement among children, he said. One survey of people who have achieved great things showed some common characteristics among them, including:

• A major childhood challenge that had to be overcome.

• Belief in and the ability to follow an "inner voice."

• A belief that achievement for its own sake is more important that material or other rewards.

• A belief that the process they follow to achieving things is as important as the achievement.

• A willingness to persist at something difficult when others give up.

• A willingness to listen and learn from others.

• A quest for constant improvement in the way things are done.

• A strong sense of responsibility for themselves and their actions.

Children who lack the desire to achieve also show common characteristics, including a willingness to cheat ("80 percent of Utah school kids cheat on a regular basis"); avoiding things that look challenging; choosing a path that requires the least amount of effort; pleasure-seeking; erratic achievement; a fear of emotional intimacy and a tendency to push others to make a commitment so they don't have to, he said.

Stress and difficulty can be great teachers if parents can refrain from constantly paving the path for their children, he said. In many instances the best response to childhood complaints is a simple one.

"Work harder."

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E-mail: carrie@desnews.com