Insisting on perfection leads to discouragement

From the time we were little children until now we have been told that if you can't do something right, don't do it at all. This kind of thinking is what got our homes in the chaotic state that seems to overwhelm us. This is perfectionism!

We have been taught that perfect was the only way to be. This perfectionism has infiltrated every area of our lives: Home, family, school, church, friendships, work, housework, yardwork and leisure time.

As women we were led to believe that we could have it all. We could bring home the bacon and fry it up in a pan. We could be the "perfect" wife, mother and executive, but this didn't leave much room for being you! Did it?

It wasn't as if we had someone standing over us with a whip expecting us to be good little wives and mothers. We were the ones holding ourselves up to standards that no one can live up to. Oh, we think we have seen women that seem to be everything to everyone, but do you ever see them smile when no one is looking?

Our perfectionism is killing us, one relationship at a time.

In our perfectionism we tell our husbands that their help is not good enough. If we don't allow our ugly words to deflate their loving gesture of folding towels, our actions of refolding them will tell them loud and clear that their help is not good enough. Our children have to deal with this all the time, too. You have said it time and again — "Go clean your room!" They proceed to clean, then you come in and take over! With words that cut to the heart. "I might as well do it myself; you can never do anything right! Why bother asking you to do it!"

Eventually, your perfectionism starts eating away at you. You keep juggling all the things that you think you have to do and then all of a sudden you can't keep those plates spinning without some of them hitting the floor. Your perfectionism is the reason you have all those plates spinning in the first place. You volunteer for jobs that you don't think anyone else can do as well as you can. Your perfectionism won't allow you to say "no!" Before you know it; something begins to suffer. Most of the time it is your family that you neglect; the house gets messy and you can't tell it "no!" either. So your family is told we can't go to the park because I have to do the dishes or the laundry needs attention. All the while it is your poor family that really needs the attention but you have been giving it to many other things first.