• The parent/child relationship has a longer history than the new couple's relationship. This can make it difficult for stepparents to feel important to the family.

• A biological parent (the ex-spouse) is in another place. Even if the biological parent has died or never visits, he or she is a part of the children's lives. Children need to be able to love that other parent.

Children may be members of two households. "Where do I belong?" is a common question.

• Stepparents may be asked to assume a parental role before they have any emotional ties with the stepchildren. The child's first parents have bonded to him or her. And vice-versa. The children seem "normal" to their own parents. And vice-versa. Stepparents and children will not seem like family to each other at first.

• There is no legal relationship between stepchildren and stepparents. Stepparents may feel they have more responsibility than authority. For example, stepparents can't authorize medical care or get school records, unless there is some kind of written authority from a parent.

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If you go

What: "The Stepfamily Journey," a two-hour presentation for parents in blended families, with Elizabeth Einstein

Where: Auditorium, College of Social Work, U. of U.

When: Tonight, 7 p.m.

How much: $10

Phone: Preregister by calling 581-8913

Web: www.socwk.utah.edu/pace

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E-mail: susan@desnews.com