From Deseret News archives:

Book tackles non-presence of men at church

Churches aren't designed for males, author opines

Published: Friday, June 3, 2005 7:45 p.m. MDT
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It's no secret that more men than women skip church services each Sunday. The book "Why Men Hate Going to Church," which came out earlier this spring, outlines the reasons.

Author David Murrow, who states he's no theologian, pastor or professor — just "a man in the pews" — says it this way:

"Trying to bring men into a genuine walk with Christ through church is like trying to play golf with a shovel — you might hit a lucky shot now and then, but you're not using the best tool for the job. Truth is the modern church is not designed to do what Jesus did: reach men with the good news."

Murrow theorizes that most men have a religion, masculinity, and it gets in the way of church, which is geared more for the feminine side — expressing feelings, singing, relating and nurturing. He said the spiritual thermostat for more churches is set for women, not men.

Part Three of the book examines "Understanding men and masculinity."

The author takes "Greg," a typical man, and says that Greg finds church boring and irrelevant because he doesn't see his values modeled there. "He finds church dull for the same reason he finds chick flicks dull: neither one reflects his masculine heart."

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The book's research shows that among U.S. Christian churches, less than 40 percent of the adults in church are men and that some 20-25 percent of married churchgoing women attend services without their husbands. The "pastorate is a men's club," but almost every other church aspect is dominated by women.

His top 10 reasons why men don't go to church: 10) Don't have the time; 9) Church doesn't work for me; 8) It's boring; 7) It's irrelevant to my life; 6) I don't like the pastor; 5) I don't want to talk about it; 4) It's too long; 3) They ask for money too much; 2) It's for wimps; 1) There are too many hypocrites there.

Some of the suggestions Murrow has on how to get men back to church include: Men expect excellence, they need to be challenged; find ways to awaken the masculine spirit in your congregation; don't beg or plead.

The book states that it doesn't call men back to the church, "it calls the church back to men."

(It also points out that young adults, ages 18-29, are another demographic group that's also missing from churches today. Plus, it notes that even women's church attendance in declining in many churches.)

The book ended up revealing more about the differences between the sexes than about actual church matters and issues.

Reading this book thus might engender a better understanding of your spouse or significant other than of the non-churchgoing public.

All in all, this isn't an easy to book to read. It is one that pastors and ministers will likely find the most interest in. However, the book does stir the pot on this subject and its classic cover, showing a man asleep on the pew, make for an excellent "coffee table" kind of book at the least.


E-mail: lynn@desnews.com

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