Sloan struggles to decide whether he'll return to Jazz

The year was 1969, and Jerry Sloan was in the midst of his Chicago playing career. So was another Windy City sports legend, albeit with the Bears, not the Bulls.

He was, Sloan said, "one of my biggest idols in sports, probably."

Dick Butkus inspired Sloan that miserable season. To this day, the menacing middle linebacker still does.

"When I was in Chicago, Dick Butkus played on a team that I think was 1-13," Sloan said, his recollection of Bears NFL history on the mark. "But the most important thing about him is every single time he went to play, he gave every single ounce of energy he had.

"I always thought that was the way it was supposed to be. Anything other than that is just kind of a token appearance, and sometimes I have a difficult time with that. But I know I'm a little hard-headed, and a little bit stupid sometimes, for expecting those things. And maybe a little bit unfair. But so be it."

This week, as Sloan perhaps tinkers with a John Deere or whacks some brush on his southern Illinois farm, contemplating all the while if he should return to Utah for an 18th NBA season as head coach of the Jazz, the memory of Dick Butkus on the football field may speak.

That voice, however, will be but one of many profoundly vociferous in Sloan's mind.

He will hear old basket-

ball coaches, along with Phil Johnson, the assistant who has been by his side for so long. He will hear the owner who has been so loyal, Larry H. Miller. He will hear his players past and present, the young ones who just don't seem to get it, the retired legends who did, like John Stockton and Karl Malone.

He will hear, too, the love of his life, the wife cancer stole from him just last June.

He will hear Bobbye.

All will have something of a say, assisting in determination of whether enough is enough, or if is he up for yet another go.

At times over the course of an injury-decimated 26-56 season in 2004-05, Sloan went back and forth.

"It's very disappointing when you get to this stage of the season, and you're not in the playoffs," Sloan said at the end.

"You can have all the excuses in the world," he added, "but, you know, my responsibility is to put them there. And I didn't do it. That's not a good feeling."

Sloan also said he did "a terrible job" of getting his team to compete in the final few minutes of on-the-line games.