While working as a social worker at a children's therapeutic day-care center, I found one of the best ways to help children was to help parents know that it was OK for parents to express their feelings with children, rather than create an artificial world for them; and that saying "no," setting limits and discipline were important in the socialization of their children. To "earn" rather than be given something, may go far in helping the child learn the most important thing — self-respect.

Rapid social change is blurring the role of parents and it is reflected in how children relate in social situations. Our economy and standard of living have created a new lexicon in rationalizing child-rearing practices, the most often used — "it's quality, not quantity." While the role of fathers is important, mothers by nature are the first to nurture and begin the vital bonding process between infant and caregiver during the first 18 months when an infant's brain is being "hard-wired."

Our public policies about families should reflect the changing needs of mothers in our current environment. Let's encourage our elected leaders, as they review public policies, to give priority to support mothers in fulfilling the most important role they play in creating the kind of society we want.

So this Sunday, as we thank our mothers and celebrate Mother's Day, my wish is that all mothers learn to rely on their instincts in raising their children and create that secret communication between mother and child because that will change the world.

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Utah native John Florez has founded several Hispanic civil rights organizations and has served on the staff of Sen. Orrin Hatch and on more than 45 state, local and volunteer boards. He also has been deputy assistant secretary of labor. E-mail: jdflorez@comcast.net

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