Out-of-office replies offer venue to boast, swagger — and mislead

It came as no surprise to Steve Siegel that a female colleague didn't show up for work last week on a balmy, blue-sky day. From home, she crafted an out-of-office automated e-mail reply that said something to the effect that, "My throat's sore and I think I'm starting to come down with sinus problems," Siegel recalls. The woman was back in the office the next day, looking no worse for wear. In fact, "she looked great," Siegel says.

It shouldn't shock anyone that employees in the typical office aren't likely to say something straightforward like, "It's nice out; I want to take the day off," he says.

But little office fictions aren't all that is showing up in out-of-office e-mail replies these days. The automated responses have also become a vehicle for pomp and swagger that can leave colleagues feeling as if they've been sprayed with someone's status juice.

Another of Siegel's colleagues, for example, includes a full roster of contacts in his reply, just in case any questions arise on any of his vast array of projects — which require listing because of their importance and, by extension, his.

"A lot of people use it as a power thing. Or it's self-importance and self-promotion," says Siegel. "OK, we get the point. You're busy."

Unfortunately, technology has evolved to the point where it's as easy to abuse as to use, giving people ample opportunity to get uppity. People plead the need to flee from conversations any time call waiting or BlackBerrys start to beep. Instant-messaging systems allow for "away messages" even when the person is right there. And some cell phones come equipped with an "ignore" button.

"We've become a society with a veneer of civility," says Prakash Rao, a chief architect for an information-systems company. "These technologies allow us to exercise our civility and provide hidden messages rather than explicit ones." It's the modern-day equivalent of looking at your watch while talking to someone, indicating that there's someplace else you'd rather be.

Even worse is when someone gets dragged into something ostensibly beneath the dragger but not the dragee. If Eugene Goei's former supervisor had been a little more honest, he imagines that this is what she might have written in her away messages: "I will be working from home today to take care of personal issues such as watering the weeds I call my garden, cleaning the house before my ex-husband comes to pick up the kids and calls Child Protective Services on me, and consoling my distraught hormonal teenage daughter. If you have any questions regarding anything, call Eugene Goei because he's single and has nothing better to do with his time."