It's hard to complain when you make your living as a TV critic. Hey, we get paid to watch TV and write about it — and along the way we get to dis people who are richer, better looking and (in some cases) infinitely more talented than we are.

But it's not always an easy job. And (note to DesMoNews management), I need to be paid more for stuff like this:

Britney Spears and her hubby, Kevin Federline, will "share their personal love story through private home videos and revealing interviews" in a new "reality" series headed for UPN later this season.

That sound you hear isn't millions of cats coughing up hairballs. It's dozens of TV critics gagging.

I realize it's unfair to judge a show before seeing it, but let's just share a few quotes from the UPN release announcing this six-episode extravaganza:

"I am now going to be expressing my personal life through art," Spears said. "This series will show us falling in love and all the adventures that went on. . . . It's going to be an exciting ride."

"It is a documentation of love," Federline said.

"Britney and Kevin's life together has been played out in front of the public through Internet speculation, the gossip columnists and entertainment magazines," said UPN Entertainment president Dawn Ostroff. "But now, for the first time, their millions of fans will get to see and hear the couple's real story on UPN."

Whoops . . . there goes my lunch.

Spears also pushed the idea that she and Federline are just poor, misunderstood kids.

"From the day that Kevin and I met, there have been constant rumors and inaccurate speculation about our lives together," she said. "I feel that last year the tabloids ran my life, and I am really excited about showing my fans what really happened rather than all the stories, which have been misconstrued by journalists in the past."

There's no word on whether the plethora of home movies we're going to see will include any video of Federline's children from a previous relationship — including the child his ex-girlfriend was pregnant with at the time he began his relationship with Spears.

Whoops . . . there I go misconstruing again.

Actually, the worst part about this is that, like most of America, I couldn't possibly care less about Spears and Federline. As my mother used to say: How can we miss you if you won't go away?

"JAG" IS GOING AWAY, which is neither unexpected nor reason to mourn.

Ten years and 227 episodes is quite an accomplishment for any show, let alone one that was canceled after its first season.