One woman told Sister Parkin she feels God's love when her home teachers " 'lay their hands on my head to give me a blessing.' It lets them feel those blessings that are theirs."

Motivated male leaders who actively seek input from women and sensitize themselves to their needs open doors of greater understanding and respect, she says. "I think when that happens for women they feel good. I know what that's like for me," she said, noting the interaction between her presidency and the church's Presiding Bishopric.

"They are fine men who listen and take us seriously about the needs of women. They are respectful, and we feel they value our insights. "

President Hinckley has been particularly sensitive to participation and comment from the Relief Society, she said, noting one meeting where her presidency expressed concern about many local Relief Society leaders who weren't meeting regularly with priesthood leaders or being trained in church welfare procedures. The meeting occurred on a Wednesday, and the following Saturday, President Hinckley addressed those specific needs in a general priesthood meeting broadcast widely via satellite, she says.

He also modeled respect by having his secretary call Sister Parkin in the days following his wife's death to ask if the Relief Society building adjacent to Temple Square would be available for Sister Hinckley's viewing. "He didn't need to ask me, but that's the respect" that benefits both those involved and those they serve.

It's one avenue among many that can help each woman come to "know that God loves her and because of that love, she can step forward with confidence to bless herself and to bless others and be happy doing it."

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E-mail: carrie@desnews.com