It's a sharp contrast compared to some who seem to have everything going their way but talk of being isolated or sad. "Sometimes there's a lot of focus on our own needs, but when you forget about yourself and go to work, things change."

At the same time, she urges women to develop a balance that goes beyond simply becoming overscheduled. In the past decade, Sister Parkin has seen the "busyness" of women's lives grow dramatically, she says. Taking time to read scripture, ponder, pray and simply be grateful helps keep priorities in focus.

"For me it's an early morning walk," she says, adding, "That sets my day, and I'm a happy camper." When asked if she goes with a friend, she says "no one wants to go as early as I go," but once in a while she'll catch up with a group of friends "who are always there for me. I love it with my friends. Women need to process. We need each others' voices to say 'how do you see this?' Seeing it in a new light" helps her and most women "figure it out," she says.

Yet she realizes some challenges go beyond mere discussion.

Many see wayward children as a reflection of something they failed to do well, but Sister Parkin reminds them "they are not finished yet. I think every family figures out how best to take care of their family, and you can never give up on a child." When LDS Church President Gordon B. Hinckley called her to serve in her current position, she told him her family wasn't perfect. "He looked at me and said, 'Whose is?' You give increased love.

"I really believe you just keep trying. You don't have any judgments on someone who is doing their best, and you don't know that if you haven't walked in their shoes."

With more than 4 million Relief Society women all living different lives, Sister Parkin says she's gained a new perspective on the variety of challenges they face since being sustained in April 2002.

Visiting Washington, D.C., recently, she gathered 10 LDS women ages 19 to 30 together to talk about their needs and how the Relief Society can better serve them. "One of the things they said they need to hear is for us to talk about the reality of life," which for many means they will not marry and/or have children, leaving them to face an uphill battle for self-worth in a family-centered faith.

"They're saying they need to be taught in the church, 'There is a possibility I won't marry,' " and Sister Parkin agrees, adding she believes in "saying it like it is." For such women, finding their place is not a one-time event but a continuing redefinition as they grow older. Because LDS women don't have priesthood authority, bishops, home teachers and other male leaders have the responsibility to provide much-needed blessings, she said.