From Deseret News archives:

Author bares 'the truth' about chastity

Dating do's, don'ts to maintain chastity are difficult to define

Published: Friday, April 1, 2005 3:52 p.m. MST
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(Disagreeing with papal teaching, she believes "the whole of a married couple's sex life needs to be open to procreation" but not each sexual act.)

• "How you dress doesn't matter."

Winner insists she's no prude but the commercial marketplace promotes "a culture of immodesty" that Christians must counteract. She says modest attire remains an option in stores that cater to the rich, while lower-price stores that most shoppers rely upon promote sexually enticing garb, even for young girls.

"Our clothes tell stories" about ourselves, she advises. There's power in deciding "I am more than a sex object designed for your passing entertainment."

• "Good sex can't happen in the humdrum routine of marriage."

American consumer culture emphasizes novel experiences and makes sex little more than diversion or adventure. That undercuts the attractiveness of stable marital relationships free of the thrill of danger. But don't be misled by romantic fiction, Winner counsels. "Ordinary" sex is meaningful — and fun.

• "You shouldn't marry for sex."

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Promotion of sex before marriage merges with pressures to delay marrying to fulfill career goals or make supposedly mature decisions about a mate. Winner thinks that's usually a mistake and favors early marriage over artificial postponement.

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Jen Fariello, Associated Press

Lauren Winner is the author of "Real Sex: The Naked Truth About Chastity."

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