Parents must do their part to curb school violence. Plainly speaking, that means parents owe it to their children and their communities to be actively involved in parenting. An FBI study of 18 school shootings determined that school shooters share six family attributes: a turbulent parent-child relationship; the parents' acceptance of pathological behavior; lack of intimacy; no limits or monitoring of TV or Internet use; access to weapons; and a dominance in the household. In other words, kids need limits and nurturing, which sounds simple enough but becomes more difficult as children age and become increasingly independent.

Weise was arguably more at risk than the average American high school student. He was effectively orphaned after his father committed suicide four years ago. His mother, who suffered brain injuries in a car accident, lives in a nursing home in Minneapolis. Weise had been living with his grandfather, a tribal police officer, and his grandfather's female companion. He killed both of them at the start of his killing spree, which culminated in his own suicide. At the time of the shooting, Weise had been placed in a homebound program because of a school policy violation.

The great difficulty with this issue is that many troubled youths who exhibit every warning sign do not act on their rage, depression or sense of alienation. It's nearly impossible to determine which students have the capacity to self-govern and which will act on their threats.

But human nature tells us that all children have a deep-seated need to be heard by the trusted adults in their lives. William S. Pollack, a psychologist and consultant to the Secret Service, told the Chicago Sun Times in 2000 that the manner in which boys in America are reared predisposes them to a sense of loneliness, disconnection and sadness. "When they have additional pain, additional grievances, they are less likely to reach out and talk to someone, less likely to be listened to. Violence is the only way they start to feel they can get a result."

Sadly, the most common outcomes of school shootings are unspeakable grief and guilt among those who didn't listen to the shooter's threats and take action.