Use lock to deter thieving sister

Dear Abby: My sister, "Pamela," constantly steals things that belong to me. It can be anything from underwear to jewelry. When I catch her wearing whatever she "borrowed," the belongings go missing. Pamela then claims that she returned them. I have to beg, cry and finally search her room and car to find them. Most of the time they'll be ruined.

This is causing a great strain on my life and our relationship. It has reached the point that I have told my sister I no longer want anything to do with her because she's deceitful, hurtful and selfish. I honestly think she has some sort of OCD or does it for the thrill.

Oh, we are not teenagers. I am 26 and Pamela is 24. We are both adults with master's degrees and full-time jobs. —Fed Up in Quebec

Dear Fed Up: Excuse me, but how is Pamela able to take possession of your property? If you're living under the same roof, have a deadbolt lock installed on your bedroom door and use it while you're out. If not, have your dwelling re-keyed. Your sister cannot steal and destroy that to which she doesn't have access.

Dear Abby: I grew up with a friend I'll call "Muffy." Muffy was raised in a rich, sheltered environment. Her mother did everything for her. She never taught her daughter how to wash dishes, do laundry, clean house, etc. I, too, waited on Muffy. As a child, I thought I was supposed to take care of her.

Muffy is now an adult, a recluse with few friends. She still lives with her mother, even though she has a job and could move out on her own. Muffy is a nice woman. My problem is that her mother expected us to be best friends throughout our lives. She and Muffy can't seem to understand that I have a husband, a son and other responsibilities that include work.

My mother and Muffy's mother are best friends, and Mom often says I should remain friends with Muffy. It seems Muffy's mother won't let the subject drop.

I think they both need to get on with their lives and Muffy should be free to make new friends. In the end, she is the one who has been hurt by not learning how to live independently and take care of herself. She should not be a prisoner of her childhood. —Independent in Kansas

Dear Independent: I get the feeling that you somehow resent your childhood friend, and that's sad. Not only did Muffy's mother encourage her daughter's physical dependence, it appears she nurtured her daughter's emotional dependence as well.