Quit treating housework as chore to be despised

The other night my husband and I went to see a movie. It was a spur-of-the-moment idea and we drove 45 minutes to just see what was showing. Our choice of movies was limited by the starting times.

He got the tickets while I bought popcorn and soft drinks. After the movie was over, we stood up to walk out the door. My sweetie informed me that he got chick flick points for watching that particular movie with me. I told him that he had to call chick flick points before the movie to have them count in his favor.

Our little movie tally is just for fun but there are many of you who keep score on who does what when it comes to housework. Why do we have to keep score? What happens when we do? This is not a game that our sweet darlings like to play.

Do you hear these words coming out of your mouth on a regular basis? "I did the dishes last night, it is your turn tonight!" This is not just a statement of fact it could be a whine, a nag, an indirect command or an attack on his in action. Do you see how keeping score can hurt you? My main concern is for your stress levels; not the fact that you are not getting the help with the housework that you think you deserve. I am not saying you don't deserve help either. I want you to look at how you are trying to get this help and what it is costing you in the long run.

Keeping score has you in a competition with your loved ones. They are not your adversaries; your family is part of your team. You should not keep score on your own teammates. Just the act of keeping score causes problems in the family. I have a very simple remedy for getting the help you need as well as reducing the stress that you feel each time you have to remind one of your team that it is their time to do the dishes.

Whether we like it or not, we are probably the only one in our home that cares or even feels guilty about the way it looks. In our perfectionism we think that the rest of the family should just see what needs to be done and do it. Well, it rarely happens this way unless you do one simple thing: Quit treating housework as a chore to be despised. No wonder you can't get any help around the house. You are always complaining about how hard things are and how you never get any help. I like to call this the Rodney Dangerfield complex. When we don't give ourselves the respect that we need then we are never going to get it from others.