I suppose the vandalism makes us a legitimate soccer town. Look, we already have hooligans!

(Note to soccer fans: Just kidding, heh, heh. Did I mention my German shepherds?)

The BBC Web site reports this: "Soccer hooliganism has often been called 'the British disease' but this kind of antisocial behavior characterized by the term occurs almost everywhere the sport is played."

That can't be good news.

(Ding, ding, ding — I think the first angry e-mails are already arriving, but my driveway and sidewalk are still clear.)

English soccer clubs have been banned from countries at times because of hooligans. New theme: Give us your tired, your poor, your huddled masses but not your soccer fans.

(Pardon me, I'll be right back; I've got to see what the dogs are barking at.)

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Doug Robinson's column runs on Tuesdays. E-mail drob@desnews.com.