Technology is increasing while civility is decreasing

Cell phones pose different challenges with civility. Just this weekend, I was party to one side of a nasty family fight while shopping in the produce aisle at Smith's. As I picked among the yellow onions, I got an earful about a sister who seemed to think she was "too good" to have to help out with the family crisis. I didn't intend to get within earshot of the dispute. It came to me as the woman on my end of things stormed across my path.

Technology isn't to blame. That woman very likely has participated in some raging fights when she was tethered to a land-line phone. Technology enables her to take her bad vibes on the road, where she apparently feels comfortable sharing her family troubles with the rest of us. I wanted to ask, "Where's your sense of shame? Does it ever occur to you to be more considerate of others?"

I used to think that the demise of neighborliness and civility could be attributed to homes being built without front porches and the proliferation of garage-door openers that enable us to slip in and out of homes without ever having to interact with a neighbor, even to wave or say "hello."

How strange that we'll forgo that human contact but we'll rush into the privacy of our homes to "connect" with others in cyberspace. Equally bizarre is that some of us conduct intimate or family-only conversations while strolling the aisles of the grocery store.

On the one hand, technology enables us to say things electronically that we'd never have the nerve to say in person or even on the telephone. With cell phones, some people seem emboldened by private conversations becoming part of the public domain. It's almost as if there's some subconscious validation of their perspective. In this case, "My sister is a jerk. I have witnesses."

Sorry, doll. My observations suggest the apple didn't fall far from the family tree.

Instead of telling us about it, why don't you assemble a family meeting and attempt to calmly settle your problems around the kitchen table? If you can't do that, could you at least put the family feud on hold until you're in the parking lot?

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Marjorie Cortez is a Deseret Morning News editorial writer. E-mail her at marjorie@desnews.