Author addresses attitudes toward married sex

PROVO — The author of "And They Were Not Ashamed — Strengthening Marriage Through Sexual Fulfillment" has a powerful mission.

Laura M. Brotherson wants to reshape society's attitude toward sexual intimacy in marriage.

She wants people to understand that God not only ordained sex but expects the partners in a marriage to comfort, nourish and bless one another with physically rewarding relationships.

She's determined to get the word out.

"My goal is to see that every adult have access to this information," said Brotherson. "This is a family values, marriage, sex and parenting book. There is not a marriage out there that cannot benefit from some discussion about this."

Brotherson has a bachelor's degree in family sciences with an emphasis in marriage and family therapy from Brigham Young University. She teaches a course on strengthening marriage for the LDS Church Education System.

After recognizing a serious need for specific, gospel-centered information, she began to write. She published the text in May 2004, and the first printing sold out quickly. Her book is currently available at Deseret Book and other major outlets.

"It's been so amazing," Brotherson said. "I'm hearing from frustrated husbands on one side and from frustrated wives on the other side."

Brotherson said the feedback to the information on her Web site, www.strengtheningmarriage.com, has been surprisingly positive and the questions she gets only underscore the misunderstanding that exists.

"I'm hearing comments like, 'It's OK to let my husband have sex with me?'" Brotherson said.

Brotherson's book is bold but sensitive. She discusses the sanctity of the sexual relationship but she also frankly discusses what happens physically.

She debunks the theories that prevent "good girls" from enjoying themselves and outlines firmly just how critical it is for men and women to experience sexual fulfillment.

Brotherson includes a quote from LDS Church President Spencer W. Kimball: "Divorces often occur over sex. . . . If you study the divorces, as we have had to do in these past years, you will find there are many reasons. Generally, sex is the first. They did not get along sexually. They may not say that in the court. They may not even tell that to their attorneys, but that is the reason."

Brotherson points out that conditioning against sinful sex is difficult to overcome once the marriage vows are said. The lessons on morality designed to curb early experimentation causes problems for married couples who want to do what's right and still enjoy sex.