Simon's act is wearing thin on 'American Idol'

UNIVERSAL CITY, Calif. — As "American Idol's" fourth season gets under way, judge Simon Cowell's act has worn so thin it's in tatters.

And I'm someone who has defended him over the years as the best of the judges — the one judge who will be honest, while Paula Abdul is artificially sweet and Randy Jackson is just artificial.

Cowell's affected nastiness toward contestants who don't have talent has become so predictable he's little more than a fourth-rate insult comic. And not even slightly funny.

The first episode of the season found Cowell in the same old form, like when he told triplets they were "three overweight Jessica Simpsons," something that was clearly edited into the show to make viewers laugh. "And it wasn't funny then, trust me," Jackson said in an uncharacteristic burst of honesty.

Cowell is mean to so many contestants he couldn't even recall making that unnecessarily mean crack. "He forgets what he says," Abdul said. "Of course, they don't ever forget."

"OK. I apologize," Cowell said, tossing it off blithely, with all the sincerity of Richard Nixon. If you're waiting for a real apology, well, don't hold your breath. "It's a reality show. You know, my attitude is — if you think it, say it. And I don't like your shirt," he said to the critic who asked him about the incident, launching another barb that bombed.

"He's from a different universe," Jackson said. "It's OK."

"The point is, you shouldn't take it too seriously," said Cowell, who said if you want a nice show "watch 'Star Search' because it's very safe.

"I mean, the great thing about 'American Idol' is, it's fun. And we get to say what I think most people at home are thinking."

Once again, I've written before that the most entertaining part of "American Idol" (tonight at 7 p.m. on Ch. 13) is watching the awful contestants who don't know they're awful. But I've reconsidered. It just seems cruel. And Cowell reveling in that cruelty — saying horrific, hurtful things and then dismissing their effect — has gone from something that seems fresh and funny to something that just seems tired and mean.

Plus, he's nowhere near as funny as he thinks he is.

"One of the judges is going to get killed this year, but I can't tell you which one," Cowell said.

"It won't be me," Jackson said.

"And it isn't me," Cowell added.