Daughter of alcoholic needs support, advice

My mom has too much wine whenever we have company over. She gets "sloppy" easily, and it's embarrassing. If I tell her she needs to stop, she tells me to go away and tells everyone that I am mad at her. The next day, when she "recovers," she promises never to drink again, but that will never happen. I have no one to talk to about this. What should I do? — Anna, 16, Gainesville, Fla.

Your mom's alcoholism is not something you should be trying to deal with alone, and the sooner you get others involved, the better. If there's really no adult in your life (relative, coach or school nurse) you can go to, contact alateen.org. They offer support groups for children of alcoholics. The people in the groups will understand exactly where you're coming from, and they will help you figure out the best next steps, because they've been in your situation themselves.

And Anna, even though it feels like your mom is never going to stop drinking, know that that is not necessarily the case. My sister was a major alcoholic, and she is a completely different person today. She just needed the proper help. Hopefully you'll be able to help your mother realize how she's hurting herself (and you), so she'll get help as well.

I am attracted to my close friend's boyfriend. It doesn't make things better when she tells me that their relationship is going down. What can I do? —Tay, 16, New York

Here's what you can do: nothing! Don't get me wrong — it's totally normal to be attracted to this guy, but acting on it is a recipe for disaster. Because whether or not they're getting along, going after your friend's boyfriend is just not cool. You can get a bad reputation; you can lose a friendship — there are lots of potential negative outcomes.

Restraint is one of the least talked about but most important qualities that we tend to learn about the hard way. Now, if their relationship does end, then wait until you get the sense that she's mentally moved on from him, and then ask her if she'd mind if you went after him. Then, based on what she says, you can decide what you want to do.

I know it seems like all these rules don't work in your favor, but, sister, when it's YOUR boyfriend someone is after, these same rules will be protecting you — so follow them.

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Questions may be sent directly to Atoosa Rubenstein at: dearseventeen@hearst.com. Atoosa Rubenstein, the founding editor of CosmoGirl! magazine, is the editor in chief of Seventeen magazine. © King Features Syndicate Inc.