In a year of horrid low carb, rice is nice

Low carb.

The U.S. supermarket scene in 2004 can be summed up in those two dreaded words. Not since the fear of fat in the early to mid-'90s has a single food trend so completely dominated new product introductions or so depressed the two of us — Bonnie, because of her aversion to fad diets, and both of us because of the typically poor to ghastly taste of low-carb products.

Not surprisingly, low-carb foods also dominated our list of worst new products of 2004.

That Double Forks Down list makes our best-of-the-year product picks and the winner of our Golden Shopping Cart Award for the best new product of the year all the more beloved and dear, as we both look forward to a low-carb-free, or at least a low-carb-reduced, New Year.

Double forks down

1. Total Protein. General Mills won the race in getting a low-carb cereal to market, but nobody should be in a rush to buy something that tastes this much like stale Wheaties.

2. Ben & Jerry's Carb Karma. The first spit-worthy Ben & Jerry's.

3. Hershey's 1 Gram Sugar Carb Bars. Hershey's forgot that people eat chocolate because it tastes good. And these don't. Carolyn was particularly appalled by the soy crisp variety.

4. Orville Redenbacher's Cinnabon Gourmet Popping Corn. Popcorn with the fat and frosting of a mall Minibon. Even Carolyn had a hard time thinking of an eating occasion for this weirdest of Redenbacher flavors.

5. Smucker's Magic Shell Turtle Delight Topping. Twice the calories of Ben & Jerry's Fudge Sauce with half the flavor. Virtually any ice cream with caramel, chocolate and nut mix-ins would be infinitely more delightful.

6. V8 Invigor8 Energy Drinks. Expensive fruit juice rip-off of vegetable V8 with none of V8's cancer-preventing lycopene, half its potassium and iron, plus a chemical taste.

7. Mott's Magic Mix-Ins Apple Sauce. Applesauce accompanied by popping candy sprinkles to up its flavor, color and already sickening sweetness. And we wonder why kids are getting fatter and fatter.

8. Dannon Light 'n Fit Carb Control. Although this does contains live active cultures (to correct some erroneous info we learned from Dannon's 800 line and previously published), you're paying mostly for water. And it tasted horrid.

Bonnie's best picks